Angel
by Yaminoko-Jeichan
Summary: Complete: Poem in Kitazawa's POV about Eiri, setting the day Kitazawa died. Another poem added, will have four poems total the last two in other people's POV
1. Chapter 1

I've hurt you--I know that,

That look in your eyes tells me so;

But still, I can't stop.

Something within controls me still,

Until I can no longer control my own will.

I don't want to hurt you,

(I know what you feel for me

and I don't want to let go)

But the poison running my brain

ignores my wishes no matter how much I scream.

(I'm terrified of myself).

Before I met you

I've always depended on the bottle

and thought nothing of it.

Even after our introductions

I still relied on the alcoholic brew

to renew my strength each night--each day.

(Now I want to stop, but it's too late.)

You're hurt because of me--

trembling against the wall,

wanting to just shrink to the floor.

But there's still passion in those eyes

burning bright as anytime before.

(God--I want to stop before

I hurt you anymore).

You tell me to stop--

(Please, please, I shout within

my alcoholic-befuddled mind,

stop, don't, please listen)

But I don't. I can't control myself anymore.

I lack the desire to even try.

(I hate myself now.)

I look into those golden eyes and see the terror,

Shining within them is your pain--

I have betrayed you

(I have betrayed myself, too).

So much confusion hides with your fear,

glits in your jewel-like eyes

(I'm screaming inside to stop,

I'm screaming inside).

New voices arrive, then my own,

(I don't know what they said--

I'm focused on you)

I didn't even realize I spoke

Until more confusion, fear, pain

Shuddered through your body and

Shines in your eyes.

The alcohol in control of me speaks

(I can't believe what it says

--Haven't I caused you enough pain?

I want to die now).

Your cower--I turn away

(But I want to hold you, comfort you

like it's a bad-dream only,

a nightmare of epic porportions).

All for ten dollars, ten dollars.

(Gomen ne, Gomen ne).

Next I hear the shots,

but I don't feel the pain--I only see yours.

(Are those tears I see on your face?

You're crying for me?

But I've betrayed you--).

Say you hate me, curse me.

(I curse myself for hurting you.)

I deserve to die.

Your reaction has achieved justice

--But why are you crying?

I don't deserve it, you know that,

--don't you?

I fade from my body,

(I don't fight it--I can't bear

the thought that I've hurt you,

Nor the fear

that I might do it again if I live.)

Still you cry, realizing what you've done--

Do you think it's your fault?

It's not, it's not;

It's my fault--I held onto the devil

for far too long--

Now I've hurt the only angel I ever knew.


	2. Chapter 2

**Angel:**

**Part Two: Kitazawa's POV**

You loved me once

I can tell—

You still do, don't you?

Why didn't I see then

What I know now

That you loved me and still do?

Every day I relied

On the wretch alcohol

To bring me all

I could ever hold as true

And unchanging.

To the point I destroyed

Your trust—betrayed you.

I loved you

But my sin tore us apart

Though I could always have you

On a tether and true

I tore away your heart

And away I threw

Your chance to love.

Love unbidden, unbridled

Impassioned and true—

My treachery took that away

From you

The only angel I ever knew.


	3. Chapter 3

**Angel**

**Poem three**

Yuki's POV

To Kitazawa

I loved you and still do,

Even your betrayal couldn't

Tear my heart from your palm.

I hate you—

But I love too

I wish that the calm

Never left our life—

Why did you do it?

Why did you betray me?

I never wanted to betray you,

But your treachery destroyed me—

You know that, right?

So why?

Was I not enough?

I know you had your bottle,

You loved all sorts of alcohol:

Wine, beer, champagne

Loved enough to

Even cause _me _pain—

You were an angel to me

Decked in white in my eyes

I never thought to realize

How devilish you could be—

Though now you're lost,

Lost to me

You're an angel

And I hope to heaven your soul is gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Angel

Poem four

Shuuichi's POV

To Yuki

I know you don't like this,

Me expressing my feelings

Especially in poems

You find so cheap in talent.

But I don't care

What you rate

What I have to say.

I'd still love you anyway.

You have my heart, Yuki,

I love you.

I know you don't think that love's true,

But what I feel is, see?

My heart is in your palm

Through the storm and the calm;

Everyday I cannot live

Unless I see

Your shining angelic face

Staring back at me.

You're an angel, an angel,

Though you act like a viper

I know you're only that way

Because of Kitazawa that day

Hurt you more than words can say

Or you can express.

I'm sorry for that—but I love you anyway,

You're my Yuki,

My darling sleeping angel.


End file.
